Saturday, 11 October 2014

The Official Guide To Being Lazy

Are you lazy? You probably are. Everyone is lazy sometimes (some people more then others). Well today I'm going to give you the ultimate guide on how to be lazy. Because let's face it. It isn't all that bad to be lazy. Being lazy just means you know the easiest way to get things done.


1) Water Evaporates

I set a bowl on the floor for this picture. The first thing I did was
basically pour water on the floor. Right. Next. To. The Bowl.
You've spilt some water on the floor. Wait what? Don't go and get a rag! Water evaporates my friend! This is the most important lazy rule ever. You didn't spend 7 years learning science to be wiping up spilt water! Pssht.

2) Do A Half-Assed Job 

Hopefully someone will simply get annoyed and finish the job properly for you. Unless you are aiming to be the CEO of something. Then that might not be a very good idea.

SIDE NOTE: Become a CEO. Apparently they don't do very much.

3) Blame Your Sibling/Pet

If you spill something and there's no one around, did you really spill something? I don't think so. Simply blame a sibling (or a smaller and more mute human being) or a pet. They can't defend themselves. Might as well put them to good use.

4) Over Exaggerate Everything 

When someone does something nice for you, SING THEIR FREAKING PRAISE. Go on and on about how wonderful their pasta is. How your food is only nice when they warm it up and serve it on a silver platter to your bed. How your bed is only comfy when they make it. How your teeth are only nice when they brush it for you...Okay maybe not that last one...

5) Never Do Anything

Simply just don't do anything. In my experience, when your mom tells you to put away your clothes and you don't after like three thousand warnings, she will most likely just do it for you. You just have to be patient with this one. Also be careful. This tip doesn't work for everyone.

6) Sit Down For Goodness Sake

Why stand and wash the dishes if you can simply sit down and get the job done just as well? Or why walk all over the house dragging a broom? Just sit on a chair with wheels and zoom around the house with your broom! You could be like Harry Potter.
I hope you liked that. I would have included more but quite frankly I'm too lazy. Enjoy your new-found laziness tactics (if that's even a phrase).

No comments:

Post a Comment