I imagine that when we lay down to sleep, we are floating on the surface. As we slowly fall asleep, we sink lower and lower into the water.
Finally, when we are in our deepest sleep, we find that we are underwater.
I had a nightmare last night and for the past few days, I have not been sleeping well. That's made me a little sick and I've been kind of out of it. I hate this feeling. It's like I can never sink deep enough even though I'm so tired. Somehow, I keep floating near the surface. Stuck in the middle.
Lately, my dreams and nightmares have been so vivid. I can actually remember small details from them. I don't know why.
Last night especially was pretty bad. My nightmare started out good. It actually started very good. I could remember feeling so safe and happy. Then things started to go south.
Next thing I knew, I was barefoot and running through the woods. I was being chased by a wolf and I was running alongside a train. I was trying to get on the train but it was too fast. There was someone else with me. She was screaming at me to run faster.
One of the things I'm most afraid of is being chased. Well, that and loud noises. I don't know why. It's just that feeling of fear and panic I guess. Anyway, that was my dream. It was vivid and it scared me a lot. That may be why I'm feeling so tired but I don't know.
I guess that's what made me feel the need to put everything into words. I love dreaming. Dreaming is a way to escape reality. But when that turns against you, sometimes, your peaceful descent can turn into you struggling in the water. Half in, half out. When you can't breathe or do anything but thrash around forming soundless screams.
Or maybe I'm just being too dramatic. Oh well.