Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Wednesday, 15 July 2015

I Loved You When



I loved you when I first laid eyes on you. I loved you when there were secret glances. I loved you when you smiled at me. When you sat next to me. When you talked to me. Your words leaving me beautifully dumbstruck. I loved you when everyone told me not to. I loved you when my pen gently carved your name into my journal. I loved you when it was wrong. I loved you when I knew I shouldn't. When I knew you would ruin me in so many ways. When I learnt what you had done. Yet I still loved you blindly. But I was too scared. To scared of rejection. Too scared of you. So I let myself continue to love you in my head. I guess I got too good at living there because you never saw. You never saw me. And eventually you began to love someone else. The funny thing is, I still love you. I still taste your name in my mouth before I say it. I still quietly tell my journal that you are perfect. I let you live in my heart and head even though you belong to someone else. I let my heart leap when I see you. When you look at me. I let it happen because I hope. I still hope. Maybe soon. But until then, in my heart you shall live until one day, someone takes your place.

C

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

The Color Of Happiness By K.P. Gazelle


Faith Lane is the girl who has everything. At least, that’s what everyone thinks when they see her rocking a killer dress while laughing with her best friend, Tiffany. But Faith’s life is far from flawless. Her peers torment her relentlessly, and her parents expect her to be the epitome of perfection. Criticized and pressured at school and home, Faith retreats into silent acceptance and finds an escape in her passion of dancing. Then she meets Alex – quirky, forever with a pass, and concealing a mysterious secret of his own. And through his encouragement, Faith starts believing in her gift for dance and gains courage to stand up for herself. But will she be able to keep her footing when the events of one night consume her with the need to jump off the rocky cliffs near her coastal home? And what has pushed her to the edge of reason? -Goodreads
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Let's start with the good points for this one. This book was well written. The author had a lovely style that drew you in and kept you wanting to read. The storyline was also really good. A little bit unbelievable at points and a little over dramatic but it was good. I laughed and I cried through the book. The parts with Alex and Faith made me feel mushy inside(Almost like I was reading fan fiction). I felt angry on her behalf at her slightly crazy parents.

Now, on to the bad points which may be a little spoilery. I found Faith's first suicide attempt to be very abrupt and quite frankly very weird. In the book, Faith gets bullied for wearing clothes that people deem to be too conservative. So she goes through that. But then she also mentions that she doesn't really care what people think and that apparently she was also known for her fashion sense. That's very weird and if she had such mixed feelings about that, why was she all of a sudden, randomly drawn to try to shove a handful of pills down her throat?

 Also, I would hardly refer to the mild comments made by her peers 'relentless tormenting'. I used to be bullied. I know what relentless tormenting is and let me tell you, this is not it.

Then there was the fact that the writing was somewhat pretentious and overly dramatic. I felt like the author made certain parts much more dramatic and unbelievable then they had to be. In fact, Faith's second suicide was almost just as all over the place as the first. I understand that what she was going through in that instance was too much for her but come on. Give me a break.

If you take away the bad points, this book is good. I mean it has a good storyline and its captivating. It makes you feel all the emotions. It's an okay book.


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My Rating: 3/5
*An advanced copy of  book was given to me by the publishers to read and review*
Purchase the books at The Book Depositary using my special link Here

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

The Other Wife By Kathleen Irene Paterka


Eleanor Anderson has a beautiful home, a loving husband, a tranquil life. After thirty-eight years of marriage and her children now grown, she finally has time for herself. She’s not expecting any surprises; certainly not to wake up one morning and find her husband dead in bed beside her from a massive heart attack. It’s a devastating discovery… but not as much as the shock awaiting Eleanor when she learns the truth about her husband’s secret life. 

Claire Anderson isn’t your average thirty something. A professor of psychology at a prestigious university, Claire has a successful career, a handsome husband, and two young children at home. But nothing in her background, including her academic accomplishments, prepares Claire for the horrendous reality of discovering that the life she’d led was all a lie… fostered by a husband who’d promised to love and cherish her forever.

Two women from two generations, bound together by denial, anger, and grief.  
What happens when each of these women comes face-to-face with the other wife?-Goodreads
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This book isn't something that I would have picked up for myself but I have to say that I quite enjoyed it. Mostly because the themes in this book struck a chord within me. I found this book to be relatable in a very small way to me. I would say that it is unfortunate and I would hope that this book isn't relatable to anyone. 

So this book is about these two women. Both with children. Eleanor has two grown children and a grandchild. Claire has two toddlers. Unfortunately, Eleanor and Claire also share a husband. When Eleanor awakens to find Richard dead next to her, both their lives come crashing down. Suddenly finding herself in broke and homeless due to the fact that Richard had left all his money to Claire, Eleanor has to learn to adapt to a more eager lifestyle. Claire, with her buckets of money has to grieve over the man who she was falsely led to believe that she'd married. She has to cope with the fact that she only found out that he died well after he was buried and she has to figure out how to move on.

Now maybe I'll start this review off with the only flaw I found in this book. It was way too long. This book could have been about half it's length if there was proper editing done. A lot of thoughts were repeated more then twice and the inner monologues were lengthy and repetitive. Granted that they added a certain depth to the women and the story, it was unnecessary in my opinion.

Now, the good points. I loved how the author chose to parallel the women so similarly so that we could see just how this revelation affected each of them. I thought it was very interesting. I also really liked how each of them had such extreme impressions of the other but when they finally meet, they realise that everything they thought to be true was not.

I think this book is not really something a lot of teenage or even young adult readers would pick off the shelf for themselves so I'm really hoping that this review can convince you to give this book a try. I know this book seems more like an adult kind of book but let me assure you that it is very beautiful story.  It is a really interesting read and even if you don't have any personal experiences with the subject matter, the book still draws you in and teaches you a thing or two about the law. If you have a thing for the law or basically just curiosity over the 'what ifs' in life, you will enjoy this book.
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This book was actually given to me to read and review by the author and she very kindly agreed to an impromptu interview when I was done reading. Here's what she had to say.

1) What inspired this book?

My husband Steve. Several years ago he was hospitalized for a cardiac issue. It was 5 am, and I was in his hospital room, sitting at the end of his bed in the semi-darkness. Suddenly he made a strange sound. I thought he was snoring… but it was the infamous ‘death rattle’. Steve had just died. Thank God he was in the hospital and hooked up to heart monitors. A Code Blue was called, and the medical team managed to resuscitate him. But Steve’s episode with death started me thinking. What if he’d been at home asleep in our bed? What would I have done when I heard that horrible snore? I probably would have poked him, then rolled over, and gone back to sleep… only to wake up and find him dead beside me. I tried to imagine how I would feel, and how I would handle things after he died. Then I started thinking along the lines of story: what if, after a woman’s husband died, she discovered he’d been hiding a secret… a horrible secret that would change her life forever?


2) Was there any reason why you were drawn to this subject matter?

I believe a good story begins with two words: ‘What If?’ Death is a natural part of life, and I wasn’t too keen on writing about the subject. But ‘what if’ the story started after the husband had died, and about how his wife handled the aftermath? And ‘what if’, in settling his estate, she discovered her husband had secrets? And to carry it further, ‘what if’ another woman was involved? And ‘what if’ the other woman was in exactly the same situation as the first (i.e., married to the man)? ‘What if’ neither of them knew about the other? How would they each cope? Would they want to meet? Would they resent each other? Would they be angry? Jealous? Would either seek revenge? I found the emotional prospect of creating a storyline around these two women, Eleanor and Claire, neither of whom knew about the other, tremendously exciting, and I began writing.


3) What was the most interesting thing you learnt/interesting person you met while researching for this book?

Dr. Penny Visser of the University of Chicago was extremely helpful to me in researching for the book. A professor of psychology at U of C, Dr. Visser gave me a ‘behind-the-scenes’ tour of the psychology department, introduced me to other departmental staff, and answered all my questions. I’m a very visual person; being able to tour the campus and psychology department with her was fascinating. I even saw a human brain in a jar on the desk of one of her fellow professors (and yes, that little detail went into the book!).

4) Does this kind of thing happen often? When a man has two wives in this day and age. Does it still happen?

In researching for the novel, I was careful not to involve myself with the interests of different faith groups that practice plural marriage. That being said, people are human. If they’re determined to do something, they often will not let the mere technicality of a law stop them. Bigamy exists, even though state laws mandate that a person may not be married to more than one person at a time. Richard thought he could get away with it, and so he married Claire. As for men having multiple wives who remain hidden from each other, Eleanor and Claire each had their own story to tell, but from a different perspective. Eleanor was married to Richard for 38 years, while his ‘marriage’ to Claire was brief (4 years). Each woman is devastated when she learns the truth about the other woman. How does each of them cope? And what happens when they eventually come together? How does each woman deal with ‘The Other Wife’?

5) Do you think Vivi’s claims that it was Eleanor’s fault that her dad found Claire was justified?

I don’t think that Vivi was emotionally stable enough to realize that her claims were unjustified. She had grown up as a daddy’s girl, and could never recognize her father’s failings. As far as Vivi was concerned, it was a natural assumption to blame Eleanor for Richard’s numerous affairs and his eventual marriage to Claire. Yet neither woman, Eleanor or Claire, was responsible for Richard’s behavior. He was brilliant in his manipulation of each of his wives, and did exactly as he pleased. Each woman did the best she could to bring herself and her children through the emotional dilemma in which they found themselves following Richard’s death.


*THIS NEXT QUESTION HAS SPOILERS*


5) Introducing Vivi’s mental illness was interesting. Do you think Richard had it too?


I think there definitely was a father/daughter connection. The classic definition of a narcissist includes personality traits such as grandiosity, arrogance, and lack of empathy towards others. Vivi followed her father Richard in that regard. She was certainly not empathetic when it came to her relationship with her mother Eleanor. And while some things are not necessarily a matter of ‘nature vs. nurture’, I do believe there is a genetic ‘predisposition’ to inherit certain qualities or traits from an earlier generation. For example, if a child’s father was an alcoholic, it does not necessarily mean that the child would grow up to become an alcoholic… but the ‘predisposition’ would be more a threat for that child than for another person whose family carried no addictive traits or behaviors.


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My Rating: 4/5
*This book was given to me by the author to read and review*
Purchase the books at The Book Depositary using my special link Here

Sunday, 12 October 2014

I Tried To Love You

I tried to love you but you pushed me away. I tried to hug you, to say I cared but you said no. Isn't a parent supposed to teach their child to love? Why then are you teaching me not to? Certainly I learnt from the best. I didn't understand. I still don't. Why someone who cries at night because her husband doesn't love her would push away someone trying to be there for her. It makes no sense. Maybe that's why he doesn't love you anymore. Because he once tried to give you love but you found it tiresome. Until one day, he just gave up.

Monday, 15 September 2014

Do You Believe Teenagers Can Fall In Love?

Hello readers! Today has been quite a tiring day. Today I started my healthy lifestyle plan. So basically I plan to largely cut out junk food from my diet and I plan to go for daily brisk walks. Tiny things that will hopefully lead to some weight loss. 

I got a cute new bedside lamp today. It's pink and adorable. I also walked slightly more then 2km today which I'm pleased about. I've been having a horrible headache all day. I think it's because I didn't sleep much last night. Why didn't I sleep much? Well because I had 4 cups of green tea and didn't realise that it would have caffeine in it. If this was Twitter, I would put a major '#storyofmylife' tag here. I am all over the place today aren't I?

Today's topic sucks. But my alternative was to post a picture of someone I fancy. I don't fancy anyone and even if I did, It would be so mortifying if said person saw it one day. So no. I have to do this one. I would just like to point out that I've just been watching too much of Zoe and Alfie so my inner voice is now British. Hence the use of the word 'fancy' instead of 'like'.
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Yes I do believe that teenagers can fall in love. I'm not going to write a full argumentative essay proving my point but of course teenagers can fall in love. It happens all the time and it's sometimes even better. To be like friends and then go on to dating. 
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